Pizza, the Sirius Way
by Casscat
Summary: Some people don't take pizza recipes seriously... two such people are James and Sirius.  When they make pizza, you want to run away very quickly, unfortunately, Arther Weasly hasn't learned this yet.  Written with my sister out of boredom.


Pizza, the Sirius Way

**A/N: This is what happens when you combine me, a notebook, and a few hours of furniture shopping. And my sister too. Yes, we got so bored we wrote about pizza and Harry Potter. I always knew we were insane… this proves it!**

Sirius looked up and asked, "Have you ever tried pizza?"

Remus sighed and muttered under his breath, "You're so _strange._"

Arthur Weasley tilted his head, "What's pizza?"

Sirius gapped, "You don't know what _pizza_ is!"

"No, I don't. What is it?" Arthur repeated.

Remus rubbed his head and muttered, "Don't _encourage _him!"

"Oh, shut up, Moony." Sirius growled; then answered, "It's a really good thing the Muggles invented. You must try it!"

"Oh no." Remus groaned, realizing this couldn't lead to anything good.

Sirius exclaimed, "Let's make it! Too the kitchen!"

"I still think you're strange… but then, I suppose that's normal." Remus sighed as he followed the other two into the kitchen.

James walked in, looking around before muttering, "I can't believe I'm alive."

Lily sighed, standing in the doorway, "You're so weird sometimes, James."

"Lily!" Remus greeted warmly, "Someone else normal!"

"Hey, Moony," She grinned, "What's up?"

Sirius answered before Remus could, "We're making pizza."

A terrified look passed over Lily's face, "Okay then… I'm going to go now…"

"No, please don't! You're the only other normal person here. Don't leave me alone!" Remus begged.

"Fine, but you owe me." Lily said, sighing.

Sirius shrugged, "Okay then, what kind of pizza should we make?"

"Pepperoni, trust me." She added under her breath, "It's easy enough."

Everyone agreed to this; Sirius ordered, "James, make the dough."

James was at a loss, "How do I do that?"

Sirius shrugged, "Figure it out!"

Lily rubbed her forehead, "Oh Merlin…"

"I take no responsibility for the catastrophe that's about to happen." Remus said.

Sirius growled, "Shut up, Moony! Lily, find some cheese and pepperoni. I'll make the sauce."

Lily shook her head but muttered, "Very well, come on, Remus, let's go to the store."

Sirius leapt up, "No! You have to make it!"

Lily stared at him for a long moment, "You're _such_ an idiot."

"I've been saying it for years." Remus put in.

They exchanged a look and, before Sirius could say his normal 'Shut up, Moony' line, apparated away.

Sirius muttered, "Evil people, not making their own food…"

"Is that why Voldemort is evil?" James asked teasingly.

Sirius frowned, "I don't think so."

Arthur shuddered, "Can we get off this topic."

"Why can't we-"James started.

"Make the dough, James!" Sirius interrupted.

James frowned, "Out of _what_?"

Sirius shrugged, "I dunno, figure it out."

"Thanks a lot." James muttered.

Just then Lily and Remus reappeared with a grocery bag.

Remus shouted, "The kitchen hasn't exploded!"

"It's a miracle!" Lily exclaimed.

"Well… not yet, at least." Remus added.

Lily's eyes widened, "I'm scared now."

Sirius frowned, "Just give me the cheese and pepperoni."

"Why?" Lily asked, tilting her head challengingly.

"Just do it." Sirius growled.

For a moment, it looked as though Lily might refuse, then she shrugged and handed him the ingredients.

Remus shrunk back a little, "Do we go hide now?"

"Why would you-"Sirius started.

Just then the doorbell rang and Lily smiled, "I'll go get that. Come on, Remus."

The two hurried out to answer the door, glad to have an excuse to get as far away from the kitchen as they could.

James muttered, "Is the dough supposed to be moving?"

"Why not?" Sirius shrugged.

"Good," James sighed, "So, what now?"

"I already have the cheese and pepperoni baking, and in ten minutes we'll put the dough on top and finish it with the sauce."

"Did you ever make the sauce?" Arthur asked.

"We'll just use ketchup!" Sirius decided.

"Okay." James agreed.

Being smart for the first time that day, Arthur apparated back home just then. About fifteen minutes later, Lily looked toward the kitchen.

"There's something oozing under the door." She said worriedly.

"We're okay!" James shouted from the kitchen.

Just then, something exploded, followed by Sirius calling, "We're still okay!"

"They are so strange…." Remus muttered.

"We should leave now." Lily added.

"Vacation in Costa Rica?" He offered.

She nodded, "Yes, please."

And they left.


End file.
